the missing link

Sabarimala Pilgrimage-A Quest For Peace

Ramnath stopped the car to watch the dawn and to absorb the scenic beauty of the western ghats from where the river Pampa descended. 

From that vantage  point,  he could see the  river snaking its way along an endless succession of mountain ranges, racing down through the intervening forests and disappearing to oblivion to reach its destination, the Arabian sea.On the far river banks, he could see men in black, some preparing for bath, some ready for their climb and some running, rather than walking up the foot hills carrying the "Irumudi". all chanting the mantra, "Swamiye Saranam Ayyappa"

The sky to the east had become fairly red even by six in the morning, a feature unheard of during winter in the northern part of the country from where he came. It was mildly cold at this time of the month,  but it was pleasant.

The dawn heralded the beginning of another day, but was it going to be the same as in the past? Or was he going to experience something different as was presumed before the beginning of the pilgrimage? He still had his doubts.

Ramnath prepared himself for the journey through the forests leading to the hill temple, carrying Irumudi, containing the materials for offering to Ayyappa. The jungles sheltered wild  animals, he had been told already. He might come across herds of wild elephants and at times tigers, he was fore warned.But the pilgrimage would be rewarding , his friend had assured him.

The mist present in the early hours started rolling away revealing the serpentine track that lay ahead. Quickly the sky began to glow, became a fierce incandescent red glow and the sun came showing up behind the hills like a huge and brilliant orb. Ramnath felt tired and restless. He knew that he alone was responsible for taking the decision to take the trek to Sabarimala, leaving his cosy atmosphere back at home so as to get the so called mental peace through spiritual pathways.

He was never like that earlier. He was a successful businessman. His attitude to life was, since beginning, purely based on business concepts.  He considered every thing in life in terms of profit and loss only. Even family relationship existed as a commercial proposition, he used to assert.But the sudden death of his only son, the heir for his business empire, changed him, changed his attitude to life. He found a purposeless hollowness in life.

In the beginning,his uneasiness was like a mere intellectual quest. It soon started burning him up in a conflagration, roasting him up from within. Soon he became so ablaze with questions on the riddle of life that he concluded that the life he led so far was just an empty dream.As days progressed, he found it difficult to adjust with the ways of life around him. He started getting upset even on simple issues.

His friends felt that they should get him out of his swinging moods to bring him back to his normal behaviour. They felt it necessary to advice him to go for a picnic of sorts , visiting places of interest from Kashmir to Kanyakumari and from southwest to northeast regions, to watch the various festivals occurring every where, be it Diwali or Holy,dance programmes or temple 'Utsavas'. Such activities would help him to forget the tragedy and help him to recover from that shock.

Ramnath got convinced of their suggestions and chalked out a programme to drown his rising depression

He sought solace in the sequestered valleys and magnanimous mountain ranges of the Himalayas. He spent sleepless nights  gazing at the beauty of star studded skies and kept awake on the banks of the river Ganga at Varanasi Ghats listening to the melody of its ripples. He read books on "How to remain happy", on "God Realisation" and books dealing with the philosophy of life authored by eminent spiritual leaders. He tried his best to get into the gorgeous  avenues of eternal calmness, to escape from the commotions of daily life.

Still, he continued to be unhappy, irritable, upset and mentally uneasy.

Remorse  overwhelmed him as he analysed the situation. His attempts to understand peace had proved futile so far.The journey he now undertook to Sabarimala  may also end up the same way, he had his doubts.Anyway, it was going to be his last attempt in quest  of mental happiness. If it failed---?There was no answer to this nagging  query.

When he undertook the journey to Kochi,he had no idea as to where Sabarimala was and what he would find there. A chance encounter with his co-partner for years who settled down in Varanasi had shown him a way and his advice to him to seek refuge in Ayyappa  made him attempt that rigorous journey. "But  remember,the journey is not going to be  a pleasant affair. It is tough. Still it would be worthwhile", he had cautioned him.

Ramnath sat down under the shelter of a tree He did not put down his "Irumudi" as advised by his Guruswamy who had told him not to keep the sacred  bundle on the ground, but could be kept on his shoulder whenever he felt  the need for rest.He was not able to walk further as every part of his body ached. To add to his discomfiture, the day was getting hotter. 

He was not physically fit nor mentally prepared for such a journey, he felt. Doubts arose about the very wisdom of his action. The incessant strifes and struggles  of the past had dulled his mind and heart to such an extent that he had lost his reasoning capacity, he was certain. Otherwise how could he be so foolish as to jump into the fray of such a strenuous journey? He did not critically examine the suggestion, he knew.May be the anxious escapes and fears he had all along the initial period had blunted his analytical power  thereby pushing him to this misadventure, he concluded.

The suffocating restlessness of his questioning intellect would not have been calmed down by  a religious path, where no logical explanations were needed, where every happening would be attributed to a single individual- the Supreme Power. The books he read pointed out to only such a phenomenon and advocated only the need of self discipline and concentration to reach Him by transcending the frontiers of inner bliss and happiness. They detailed about the pleasures of divine thinking, about the effulgence of spiritual truth that remained concealed in man. But his query-.how to achieve that divine glory, remained unanswered.

Could this tiresome journey to Sabarimala provide some answer? He still had his doubts.

True, he was going on this pilgrimage half -heartedly, as a last chance. Would he be able to get what he wanted?

Ramnath was awakened from his musings by the voice of small children  chanting the praise of the Lord. He watched them more in astonishment than curiosity. Their capacity  for accepting sufferings and their unflinching faith in Ayyappa, surprised him. He followed them.

"The wheel of life is such that it crushes the very individual who clings on to its periphery, hanging on for security," he remembered to have read in some books on spirituality. "Instead if that man had merged with the axle, the life spark, he could have been safe watching unattached how life rolls on"

Was it very much true about him  also? All along he was clinging to that wheel of life like a leach trying to suck as much out of it as possible. In that process, he got bound by the tentacles of materialistic life  unable to come out and free himself.

Could this pilgrimage get him nearer to that life spark?

Ramnath continued his journey through the wild jungles of the western ghats. He had lost all hopes of achieving his objective. He was sure that he would return a disappointed man He trudged along following the pilgrims ahead of him.

An old pilgrim joined him and asked in chaste Hindi,  "Swamy,can I be of any help to you?

Ramnath stared at him. For the first time he met a person who could speak his language so fluently.

"I am Jagdish from North.",he introduced himself. "I have been a regular visitor to this temple for past many years. Every time the season starts, I get the inner urge to come here".

He had a stentorian voice commanding instant attention. And his eyes had a rare glow not generally seen in the people he had come across.

"The light  of the body is the eye", the scriptures had pronounced."And when the whole body is permeated with spiritual light, it is radiated outwards" 

True, Jagdish had some divine charm about him.

"Thank you Swamiji", Ramnath replied. "I am coming to these parts for the first time and the journey through these inhospitable jungles made me a bit dull" 

Jagdish was vociferous.He spoke about the pleasures that the pilgrimage gave, about the effulgence of spiritual truth that surfaced after the 'darshan' of the Lord Ayyappa and the ecstasies one got from the pilgrimage.

Listening to him, Ramnath felt as if a great burden has been taken away from him. Anyway, he was on his way to explore and possibly experience that so called glorious feeling of divine reality.

As he entered the precincts of Sabarimala, a wondrous  unearthly scene greeted him. The wind that rioted across the mountains  uprooting trees in its arrogant course, appeared hushed as it reached that sanctified atmosphere. The surrounding hills glowed with a warm, deep green tint while an absolute sense of peace radiated from that area.

A sea of humanity, shouting Swamiye Saranam Ayyappa surged through the sprawling grounds of Sabarimala.  Ramnath too joined them in sheer ecstasy on having a peep of the 'Srikovil' through the crowds pushing to reach the sanctum. He felt then that he he would be able to achieve his goal by merging with the nature that lay splashed in the invigorating environment  around him.

Slowly, he climbed the 'Eighteen Steps' which took him to the 'Srikoil'.

For a moment , he stood motionless, struck by the awe inspiring sight of the small idol of Ayyappa  made in 'Panchloha' covered with flowers and garlands.He forgot about himself, about his own existence feeling a magnificent peace descending on him and the Grace of the Lord transporting him to a state of rapture to satisfy his quest.To him it was one of the sudden halts in life when time and world seemed to stand still. He recognised the pervading spirit of His existence  penetrating through the inner recesses of his being, flooding him with happiness.

The mystery of 'divinity' in quest of which he had been roaming around all these years, stood unravelled before him.He felt the mists of his mind getting cleared at that very moment, raising his spirit to sublime happiness.

Tears rolled down his cheeks. Those were the tears of joy, of well-being and of understanding the Divine reality. 

The Call of Guruvayur

M.S.Menon

Part-1

The Air India flight no. 102 from New York to Delhi was scheduled  for departure from John F Kennedy (JFK) Airport at 5.00 PM, local time. As the Columbus-New York flight was late and landed only at 4 P.M., Narain had to virtually run with his hand baggage to reach the  Air India counter, making his way through the jostling  crowds. Fortunately, his 2 suit cases were booked direct from Columbus to Delhi and hence he was able to make it  just in time before the  counter closed.  After completing the formalities of customs and immigration, he boarded the flight as the last passenger and seated himself in the luxury of an executive class. 14 hours journey, but he could stretch himself  by converting his seat into a bed and catch up with some sleep.

As the Air India carrier taxied along the runway getting ready for take-off, he glanced through the newspaper kept near his seat to know the latest happenings in India, but there was nothing much in that paper. He shoved it aside to look at the flight path displayed on the TV screen in front of his seat.

The sight of the plane going over the Hudson river, suddenly reminded him of the  accident which occurred  a couple of months earlier when a US Airways flight carrying 160 passengers, nose- dived into the icy waters of the river while taking off from JFK airport. His friend Dave, who was one of the passengers in that ill-fated flight, had, in the monthly meetings of their ‘Elite Club’, given the details of that incident, he remembered.

 Mohan Kumar Dave, an American citizen by then, was a software engineer.  

“It was to be a normal flight from New York to Charlotte,” Dave told them.”With a flight duration of less than 2 hours,  I was happy thinking of the prospect  of being  with the family after spending a gruelling 10 days in this crowded city.

“Hardly 2 minutes in the air, I thought I heard an explosion, and immediately there after I saw flames outside the window, confirming my worst fears,” Dave continued, a sudden shiver going over him while narrating the incident.

“I could see the Hudson river below as we were flying low and I heard the captain over the public address system asking us to get ready for an impact. A few seconds later we hit the river.

“ In view of the prevailing temperatures outside, I knew that river water temperature would be near freezing point. The available life boats were full with women and children The current being strong, to reach the river banks by swimming was next to impossible. Ferry boats would be coming, we were told;  but to reach them, I would  have to swim at least for  a few minutes in the icy waters and face the prospect of suffering  hypo-thermia. Time available even to think of alternatives was running out since the plane was sinking, like the famous Titanic, into the deep Hudson river.

“There was no option left, I knew,” Dave continued. “Either I swim to the safety of the ferry boats with the hope of surviving  hypothermia or face certain death in the icy waters of the river. Luckily, due to my strong belief that by praying to God Almighty, I would be able to survive any crisis, I did exactly that and swam to the safety of the boat.”

Every one present there in the club then, chided him for depending on an invisible being called ‘God’ to take crucial decisions. Prabhakar, a close friend and business partner of Narain , was pungent in his remarks.

“You should have taken that decision yourself, instead of wasting your time in prayer and thereby endangering your life,” Prabhakar commented. “You are falling into the trap of religious zealots and it is a dangerous trend. Be courageous to come out of it at the earliest.” He cautioned Dave.

A founder member of the club, Prabhakar was a confirmed atheist in those days, believing in his capacity to foresee everything  and act accordingly to achieve success in life. He used to boast that not even once he felt the need to seek the help from an invisible ‘Being’ as he was always sure of his judgement.

“A true businessman should always be guided by his intuition rather than seeking direction from astrologers and priests”, he used to advice.

Prabhakar was a regular visitor to the club and never used to miss any event organised there, be it a presentation or a seminar. His views on various business issues were always sought as he was considered as an authority on starting new ventures, amalgamation of companies etc.

Lately, Narain had observed  that Prabhakar  was seldom seen in the club. Even his telephone calls were less frequent. None of his friends knew  about his whereabouts. They all thought that he was busy in new ventures and as  was his habit, he preferred to do the vanishing tricks during such periods.

One day Prabhakar presented himself unannounced when a presentation on global investment opportunities was in progress. Though the organisers had sent out special invitation to him, there was no response from him and they had presumed that he was still abroad. As soon as he walked in , they gave him a standing ovation for his inputs were very much in demand at that  point of time.

Prabhakar remained a silent observer through out that session and not even once made any comment during the discussions that followed, quite contrary to his normal reactions on such occasions. When prodded about his views on the subject and on his unusual silence, he shocked every one by announcing that he was closing down his business in the States to settle down in Guruvayur, a small temple town in Kerala. In response to persistent queries from members for the reason to take such a strange decision, the only hint he gave was  that he was shifting from ‘Karma Yoga’ to ’Bhakthi Yoga’

 “My attitude to life has changed”, he told Narain when he came to take leave of him before finally leaving for India.

“Why, what happened to you for taking  this decision?”, Narain asked him. 

“I was to get involved in an accident recently”, Prabhakar told him.” An air accident which I would not have  survived. That incident   convinced me that it is not due to my ability, but some unknown powers are certainly  guiding my actions. It also helped me to get a peep into what my mother used to say as acts of God.”

“What was that incident which could over night turn you, a born atheist, into a believer of God?”

 “Last May, on my trip to Dubai for finalising a hospitality venture there, I had also planned to go to Mangalore to probe the possibility of getting assistance from the local Udipi hotels group . I had also decided to take a short vacation then and go to Kannur to meet my mother and other family members.”

“My talks at Dubai were quite successful .I was to take the Air India Express flight to Mangalore the next day as planned. But as the meeting continued late and the signing of the agreement took us to the next day, I had to cancel the ticket and  my whole programme to meet the Mangalore group got upset .I was afraid that they might not take me seriously and respond to my proposals since I had not kept up the meeting with them as planned. Any way, after successfully concluding the business  agreement with my Dubai party, I was getting  ready to talk to Mangalore, when the hotel receptionist informed me that I had a couple of calls from Mangalore and from my mother. My mother was overjoyed when she heard my voice on the phone. She was weeping while telling me that Guruvayurappan had kept me safe.

 “Why are you worried?”, I asked her. “Why drag in Guruvayurappan every time in my business, as without any outside assistance, I am capable of carrying out my work.”

“You will never understand. “ She said reproaching me. “You always think that you can look after yourself. Luckily, Guruvayurappan prevented you from undertaking the flight to Mangalore today. May He continue to keep you safe from danger”.

“ By changing my flight, I lost an opportunity to expand my business  with the help of the Udupi group at Mangalore . You call it as lucky?”I asked her. But by then, she had kept the phone down.

“The caller from Mangalore  was vociferous in congratulating me for having changed the travel plans. I was surprised to hear that. Then he clarified that they were happy to know I was safe, for they had heard the news that the flight from Dubai while landing at Mangalore, over shot the runway and  none of the passengers had survived.”

Narain remembered of having seen the TV news about that  accident  some time back, but had not given much attention to the details then. He  now recollected what the news reader had presented then -of  an Air India flight from Dubai having overshot the runway at Mangalore while landing, falling over a cliff and catching fire and spreading the wreckage all around the hills . He never   expected that his close friend and business partner, Prabhakar,  was to be a passenger in that ill-fated flight. He was therefore very curious to know what happened then.

 “True, it was a chance that I was forced to change my plans much against my wishes . It saved me from facing the accident. My mother’s few words thanking Guruvayurappan gave me the feeling that unknown powers had saved me from certain death. For, I could not have escaped the disaster if I had travelled as planned.

“My attitude to religion and God changed at that instant and now I am no more the atheist you had known me for years,” Prabhakar continued. “I am now a staunch believer in God Almighty. I have recognised now that  because of my mother’s ardent prayers, Guruvayurappan  gave me another chance to live.

Prabhakar concluded his story.

“Shall I bring you the dinner?”. The query of the air-hostess woke Narain to reality.

“O.K., get me some vegetarian stuff”, he told her.

Why think of incidents of air crashes in a flight, Narain thought .Better to think of something nice, happy events of yester years .

 Almost 5 decades had rolled by since he landed in USA, as a raw commerce graduate, searching for a job in that Utopia, he recollected. He worked in New York for some time, but later on shifted from that crowded  place to Columbus in Ohio, a city sparsely populated, but rolling with greenery. He liked the city since the place reminded him of his village in Kerala with roads lined with trees and a river flowing nearby.

Slowly, instead of working as an employee, he switched over to  business and opened the first fast food restaurant (‘Subway’ in local parlance) there. After Columbus  became the capital of Ohio, there was an influx of population and more activities, thereby making increased demands on his Subway to cater to a 10 million population of the city and its suburbs. As his finances improved, the needs of the family comprising widowed mother, wife and 3 sons also increased necessitating him to shift from the city to suburbs, to a bigger building. He bought a million dollar villa in the outskirts, surrounded by adequate foliage and facing the placid Scioto river and approachable from the Riverside Drive. After every day’s strenuous work, he would take his family to the foreshore of the reservoir, the Grigg’s reservoir, built across the river for water supply to the city and  watch the calm water spread.

 All the members of the family were happy with the house and its surroundings. Narain liked the house and particularly its location, since all his Subways could be reached easily from that place. His wife was happy as the  grocery and other daily requirements could be bought from the nearby market, hardly 5 minutes drive and school for children was at a short distance. His mother was happy since the Bharatiya Hindu temple was approachable in half an hour’s time, while children enjoyed the place as they could get their books within a short reach, from the Library on Hard road.

His journey to India was not prompted by any business venture, Narain  reflected, for he did not find any need to expand his business.  He wanted his mental peace and happiness  back which he had left behind in India years ago, to accumulate wealth. Now money was available in plenty  but, he was feeling an emptiness within and he felt depressed for no known reason. 

Dave had suggested to him to visit  temples  or attend  religious discourses to calm down his nerves and get some mental peace, Narain remembered. He was not for that. Ever since  his school  days, he was not interested to go to temples or to listen to the blabbering of some Pundits on religion.

 As he grew up and entered the portals of the college in the town, he got friends who shared similar thoughts on religion. They all believed that God  was nothing but a figment of imagination just to make the priests rich by invoking the name of a supernatural being.

 He continued with this belief and his subsequent life in  America  only fortified this attitude.

Of late, his children, now helping him in the business, had been pointing out of his abrupt mood changes and had suggested through their mother,  that he should take a vacation  to recharge himself.

“May be by roaming around and absorbing  the scenic beauty of  the magnanimous mountain ranges of Himalayas or the sequestered valleys and ever green fields of Kerala, you could get what you cherish and pep up your sagging spirit”, they had suggested then. His family doctor had also concurred with their views and that decided his tour plans.

Suddenly, he was woken up from his reverie hearing the announcement in the public address system asking  passengers  to fasten seat belts. In a few seconds, he felt  the plane plunging down by sheer gravitational force.

 As it went down, he heard a scream  followed by a thud from the adjacent seat.  Its occupant  had collapsed,  crying “Oh! Guruvayurappa, save me”.

Part-2

A trained first –aid provider, Narain had no difficulty in dealing with the situation.  Calling for help,  he used his skills to revive the gentleman, while the airhostess came with a doctor. Narain heaved a sigh of relief when the patient showed signs of revival.

“How are you, Dr. Ramdas ?”, the visiting doctor exclaimed looking at the patient. “I never, even in a moment dreamt that I would get an opportunity to  be of help to my teacher, who guided me while I was an intern in the River Side Hospital, Columbus.”

“I am absolutely fine now, thanks to this gentleman.” Ramdas replied pointing to Narain.. “During air journeys, sometimes I do get such attacks, but this was too sudden”.

“May be, there has been a sudden decrease in the level of oxygen in the cabin while the plane was in an air pocket, to cause this uncomfortable situation”, Narain  said.

“By the way, I am Ramdas from Kerala, presently  practising at Cincinnati,” he introduced himself.  “Earlier, I was practising at Columbus and was a guide to young  interns like this doctor in the hospital. ”

 Introductions over, both talked about their families and their present activities.

“ I am calling it a day in America  to shift to Kerala to settle down there”, Ramdas said.

“Any specific reason?”,Narain asked him. “Hope you would not mind my query because, I am also in a dilemma about  my future plans.”

Ramdas smiled as if he was expecting the question.

“You are not the first one to ask me this. Many of my friends had asked me the same when I told them my intention to close down my practice to settle down in Kerala.” The doctor continued.

“As you very well know for a doctor, money is plenty here, but the more I became busy the more I was seething like a volcano within, the victim of a restless mind searching for peace.

“My family members, busy with their own chores of life, could not help me to get out of this feeling of restlessness which I acquired in my pursuit for money. However, they advised me to attend discourses conducted by saintly persons, organised in various parts of USA, which could help me get the inner peace. I did attend some, but that did not help”.

 After a pause, Ramdas  continued.

“Getting frustrated, I took a long vacation to go to India to seek solace in some of the famous ‘ashrams’ there and to get some spiritual guidance. I visited many holy places, but even then I could not get what I wanted.

 “Remorse overwhelmed me with the thought that all my attempts to get mental peace had failed. I felt sad that I had only the option of going back again to the same society in USA which had forgotten the soul, scorned the heart and glorified only the worldly possessions.

“In my desperate last minute bid to achieve the objective, as advised by some noble soul at Kanyakumari, I sought refuge in an ‘Ashram’ situated in a village in Palghat district of Kerala. The ‘Jnanananda Ashram’ in Vettekkara is located far away from the madding crowds. The foothills of the western ghats provided the backdrop for a wondrous, unearthly scene there. Standing there enjoying the environments, I felt that even the wind which rioted across the ‘Sahyadri’ ranges rooting out big trees in its arrogant course, appeared subdued and hushed while reaching the sacred precincts of the Ashram.

 “The place appeared idyllic and for a moment, I stood motionless struck by the awe-inspiring silence of the place. I felt  positive vibrations emanating from there assuring me that the days of my mental turmoil  in search of happiness , with my thought processes drowned in chaos, would  come to an end at this sanctified place. I felt the place to be suitable for me to get what I wanted since a strange mood of tranquillity that seemed entirely not of this earth, pervaded there. To me it appeared as one of the sudden halts of life when time and  world stood still.

“The Ashram hall was filled to its capacity. A programme, ‘Bhagavatha discourse’, was in progress there and was to be concluded that day. The audience appeared fully mesmerised by the rendering given by the ‘sanyasin’  reading  the text.

“While listening to the talk given by that sanyasin, I decided that I should seek his help to get my doubts cleared.

“I hope I am not boring you with my talk”, Ramdas asked Narain.

“Certainly not.  Pray, continue” Narain said.

 “The next morning  I met the noble soul in his room and narrated my problems to him.

“I know that you are restless. It is because your inner self is craving for something.”The holy man said. “ I can also appreciate your difficulty to contemplate on God, a formless, transcendental  essence. I would therefore advice you to go to Guruvayur and seek refuge in Guruvayurappan, the presiding deity there. Try to concentrate on the idol of Lord Krishna installed in that temple, for your mind to conceive God and for your intellect to contemplate Him.

“Since  childhood, I have been told time and again that we are the masters of our own lives”, I told him. “How can I then pray to a statue made of stone to guide me for getting mental peace?”

“You are not going to meditate on a statue, but on an idol, ie; a statue sanctified by the wisdom of the ancients and installed in a temple, which could influence even the chemical reactions in the body and mind”, the sanyasin told me.”For millennia, man’s oldest spiritual quest was to find answer to his interconnection with all beings, to become one with the Universe, to beget peace and happiness therefrom. But in his quest for acquiring  material things, man mocked at the ancient sciences as ignorant superstitions  and thereby lost  the art of harnessing the true power of thought, though philosophers through out the world had been teaching the same ancient maxim to all- “Man, know thyself.”

“Indian ‘Yogis’  had known how to draw the mind inwards, towards the inner self  for  spiritual transformation.  However, even this knowledge is now nearly lost in the shadows of antiquity.

 “In a human being’s life span, at certain point of time, the life of action is glorified and at another point, the life of contemplation is approved,” the sanyasin continued.“ But in our inborn ignorance, we  opt for the first part and  in the process end up with a new lease of sorrowful existence. You are in that stage now and hence my suggestion.”

“I know very little about  my soul,” I confessed. “But  I can never  accept the idea  that God is some super-deal maker, sitting enclosed within the four walls of a temple. After examining  such issues critically, I am not able to convince myself that going to a temple and concentrating on an idol would enable me to  get internal peace as suggested by you.”

“I have already told you that your mind has been captured by the body and made to serve it. The purpose of meditation is to draw the mind inwards to enable it to reunite with the Overself. By concentrating upon  a single line of thought, here the idol of the Lord, to the exclusion of other thoughts, the mind gets prepared to grow from ego-centric existence to the supreme state of God consciousness.” The sanyasin clarified.“ Hence my advice is – submit to that higher power , Guruvayurappan.”

“ I gave a serious thought  through out  that night on what the sanyasin  advised me  and finally decided to give it a fair trial.

 “Next morning saw me at  Guruvayur to experiment with that suggestion”, Ramdas concluded.

“But how could you accept blindly the suggestions of  that Swamiji’ whom you had met only for a part of the day?”, Narain asked . He could not comprehend how a learned and experienced doctor could be easily  hypnotised by a  roaming mendicant living only on people’s charity for his day to day survival.

 “I could appreciate the sanyasin’s advice that a mind full of agitations would not help to achieve the goal  I had set and hence I had to control my mind”.

“Yes, I fully agree with you.” Narain concurred with the doctor as there was some logic in that argument. “But how could you accept the philosophy that an idol in the temple would help you to achieve this?”

” The sanyasin’s advice for maintaining a deep devotion to the Lord  looked tempting”, the doctor explained.” Subsequently I experienced that  by withdrawing the mind from external world  did quieten the agitations and had prepared the ground for contemplation”.

 Ramdas wanted Narain to react.

“I am thoroughly confused ,” Narain said.”Any way, nothing wrong in giving it a trial. After all you had nothing to lose by this experiment.”

“That was exactly what I concluded that night”, Ramdas said.”And now  looking back, I am happy that I had taken the right decision”.

Outside, the sky was bright.  Soon the announcement came asking the passengers to fasten their seat belts for  landing at Delhi.

“Thanks for the interesting discussions on the topic and for guiding me with your experience in the matter. Due to these discussions, I  did not feel the boredom of the flight. ” Narain said while coming out. “I am also going  in search of some suitable place where I could get peace of mind. I do not know whether I would be successful since I do not have any belief in the sanctity of temples”.

“Go to Guruvayur and experience the glory of that Divine Reality to lull the  restlessness of your   mind.” The doctor  advised Narain. “ I am sure that you would certainly experience the subtle currents of harmonious energy vibrations present there. I am also confident that you would get connected to that spiritual Essence which would raise you to a higher stage of life. May Guruvayurappan help you to achieve this.” Ramdas disappeared among the crowds.

Narain saw the driver from Centaur Hotel waiting for him at the exit. He deposited the luggage in the car and proceeded to the hotel , a few minutes drive from  Delhi airport.

After an early dinner, he got ready to hit the bed to make up for the lost sleep  during the journey from New York to Delhi..

Last week this time he was in Columbus having a long telephonic chat with his old friend, Prabhakar. He just wanted to know how he was faring at Guruvayur in his new environment, whether his cherished goal could be achieved or whether he was missing the American way of life with the associated comforts.

“I am now enjoying  here the long lost freedom to live  the way I like’, Prabhakar told him.”Though I have to put up at times with the inconveniences like power cuts, ‘hartal’s etc, that discomfort is nothing compared to  the inner peace and happiness I am getting here at every moment of life.

 “What about your goal of developing your spiritual potential? Have you been able to achieve the so called joy of communion with the Lord, by being around that temple since the last few months?”, Narain asked him with a tinge of sarcasm.

“ I have now understood that my life is a mere blip in the sands of time and I am only a tool in His hands”, Prabhakar said ignoring the comment. “I am sure that you would be also able to get His blessings and get your nerves calmed down if you come and pray here every day.”

“You started believing in god because of that air accident“. Narain  told him. “But I had no such experience”.

“How can you claim that you never had any such experience?  Have you forgotten about that incident  in Bhutan when you along with your family were about to be swept away by an avalanche?”. Prabhakar  reminded him.

Narain remembered that incident. On his return from that vacation, he had made a presentation in their club about his novel experience in Bhutan. The avalanche  had occurred  right in front of him, a whole mountain in the Himalayan region coming down with all its fury, burying the highway, vehicles and travellers under its mass. The roar  of gushing waters and the wail of people trapped  were still echoing in his ears.

It had happened two decades back.

Part-3

Narain had taken his family to Bhutan on a vacation in September , 1990. From Guwahati, they travelled by road and crossing the international border  by evening, they reached Phuntsholing, the first city in Bhutan bordering India. Spending the night there, they left for Thimphu, the  capital of Bhutan, the next  morning,  planning to have lunch at Paro and to reach the destination before sun-set.

As the car wound its way up the foothills of the Himalayas, Narain observed sign boards at various places alerting  the motorists about possible slide areas ahead. Many cars carrying tourists heading for Thimphu raced past them, while he stopped en-route to photograph the fantastic scenes  offered by the Himalayas.

Suddenly the vehicle swerved and the driver instantly applied brakes.

“A flat tyre.”, he said.

“We are already late for lunch at Paro”, Narain said angrily.

“Sorry sir, but I have a spare one  and we would be on the move in a minute”, the driver mumbled . But his words were drowned by the roar of a mountain sliding down ahead, followed by  a torrential flow of boulders and rocks cascading down the slopes, sweeping away  everything obstructing that churning mass. The avalanche cut off the road to Thimphu and buried the vehicles carrying the holiday revellers under its debris.

Luckily for him, a flat tyre saved them from a tragedy.

Narain had altogether forgotten about that incident till Prabhakar reminded him then on phone.

 “Suddenly you seemed to have become silent. Or have you decided not to listen to me?”. Prabhakar’s voice on telephone brought him back to reality.

“Oh! I was  just trying to recollect that  tragic incident  which I escaped by chance at the nick of time”, Narain said.

“You still refuse to believe that an unseen power   had saved your life?” Prabhakar asked him.

“Frankly speaking, I cannot accept the existence of a super power. Neither can I concur with the generally held view that  our present problems  are the consequences of our ‘karmas’ of a previous life.” Narain said.   “I believe that present alone is the only time when we can work and achieve what we want. I do not want to live in the dead moments of the past or in the unborn moments of the future.”

“You mean to say that you believe only in the dynamic moments of the present to make a purposeful   life?”, Prabhakar asked him. “If that be so, why  do you worry over the past, fear about the future and remain anxious  about present actions, causing avoidable mental stress and strain? If you want mental peace, i would advise you to master your mind, then only you can achieve your goal.”

“Can it be scientifically explained instead of giving it a colour of religion?’ Narain asked him.

‘Science can explain only the various shades of joy while religion defines the content of  joy by transforming the way of life.” Prabhakar said. “The mind is like a river, a continuous flow of thoughts . The quality of thoughts- good, bad, agitated or quiet- controls the mind. Prayer helps to purify  our thoughts by controlling their quality,  quantity, and direction. Prayer alone helps us to develop  positive thinking and the right attitude to deal with the challenges of life, which shroud  our vision and outlook on life.”

“I have never prayed in my life and I do not know how to do that,” Narain said. “But I cannot understand as to how prayers can control my thought processes to lead me to get peace of mind.”

“Remember what our ancestors advised us- preserve the mental energy instead of frittering and depleting it trying to sort out the problems of dilemmas and conflicts.” Prabhakar pointed out.

After a pause to confirm that Narain was following  his line of argument, he continued.

“You may not be prepared to accept my contentions now. But I would advise you to come to Guruvayur at the earliest opportunity and seek refuge in the Lord. He would guide you to the right course to follow, to purify your heart and regenerate your soul. You have to experience it like me to get convinced.”

“I was planning to go to India to visit the Lotus temple at Delhi and some of the  ‘ashrams’ situated in the Himalayas.” Narain said. “Now that you are in Guruvayur , I would also  try my luck there.”

“Come to Guruvayur when you plan your next visit to India”, Prabhakar repeated before putting down the phone.

His children’s advice and that telephonic conversation with Prabhakar had the desired effect in making him plan the trip to India immediately, Narain remembered. He was getting concerned over the restlessness of his mind, which  had turned into a conflagration burning him within.

The discussions with Dr.Ramdas during the flight further convinced him to give  priority to visit Guruvayur before seeking sojourn in the ‘ashrams’ of Himalayas.

Narain decided to change his plans accordingly.

The Lotus temple, situated atop the Kalkaji hill was an hours drive from the hotel. Narain had read from the relevant tourism brochures that this lotus shaped marvel in marble surrounded by acres of beautiful gardens, was built by the Bahais in 1987 and stood for the purity and universality of the Lord and equality of all religions.

The very sight of the structure appealed to him. Complete silence reigned the place with many people, sitting with closed eyes  in meditation. 

Narain remembered what Dr. Ramdas told him during the flight.- “Try to withdraw from the unreal world of objects, emotions and thoughts, and then you would be able to get out of the confusing jungles of the mundane to enter the open plains of spiritualism. I cannot describe the experience I had in the stillness of my own mind. That has to be lived and not merely learnt”.

All those blessed people meditating there must be having such experience, he felt.

Narain sat there  for some time but could not concentrate even in that  calm environment as waves of extraneous thoughts surged within, agitating him. He then understood that a quiet atmosphere like in the Lotus temple was not adequate to ensure meditation and he had to prepare the ground for meditation needing more time. His visit to Guruvayur might help.

In  the flight to Kochi, he thought of sleeping, but he  was not lucky as doubts started erupting within about the wisdom of undertaking the journey to Guruvayur. How could he get any chance of meditating in the temple there with hundreds of devotees singing and chanting hymns at high pitch,  while even in the calm and quiet environments in the Lotus temple, he could not concentrate.

The only consolation was that Prabhakar, the atheist, became a devotee by the magic spell cast by that temple. Hence he might be  also able to get some benefit by the visit.

All through the journey to Kochi Narain remained restless, thinking of what awaited him at Guruvayur. Was he going to have another disappointment there?

He might have dozed off for some time, but was awakened by the thud of the carrier hitting the runway. He collected the baggage and came out of the  terminal building.

 The driver was waiting at the exit with a placard welcoming him to the ‘God’s Own country’.

“Instead of going straight to Guruvayur at this late hour, I have been instructed to take you to the Airport Hotel nearby, where accommodation  has been reserved for the night. We are to leave for Guruvayur  after  breakfast tomorrow,”  the driver said.

The road journey to Guruvayur the next morning was exhilarating. The weather was pleasantly warm. The landscape all along had a strange charm, made radiant by the contrasting yellow stubbles protruding from the harvested fields  and the sombre foliage of trees lining the road side.

“We would be passing through the town of Kodungallur”, the driver ventured to break the silence. “The temple of ‘Kali Ma’ is one of the oldest temples of Kerala, more than 2000 years old as per history. Would you like to see the place?”

“Not now,” Narain said. “I am to reach the hotel at the earliest,  since my friend had telephoned me that he would be there at 11 A.M.”

Kodungallur is not a town of beauty, Narain noticed as the car sped past the place. The tiled buildings, though reflected a world of old memories, did present a charm that would never fade.  The place reeked of valour with the town’s turbulent history leaving its foot prints  on the massive temple structure, though dimmed by the passage of  time.

 “We have reached ‘Manjulal’,” the driver said pointing out to a huge banyan tree standing right in the middle of the road, with a gigantic sculpture of ‘Garuda’ at its base.”The hotel is nearby.”

The official at the Reception  told him that one Prabhakar was on the line to talk to him.

“Are you free? Shall I come there right now?” Prabhakar seemed to be in a hurry to meet him.

“Please come. We will have lunch together.” He replied.

Two years after he relocated himself at Guruvayur, Prabhakar appeared to be fully attuned to the life  of a sanyasin. The western dress he preferred earlier had given way to a saffron coloured dhoti-jubba combination and a cotton shoulder bag replaced the branded  brief case he normally carried in the past.

“You appear to be a completely changed man”, Narain told him. “and the change has made your face beaming with happiness “.

“I am certainly happy now after seeking refuge in Guruvayurappan”, he said. “I do not have any tension as I have surrendered to Him”.

“You do not have any tension because your children are well settled, you have no business commitments to take care of and you have no work to do except to sit and pray,” Narain said sarcastically.” Any one in your present situation would be tension free even without surrendering to Guruvayurappan.”

“One’s  mental peace can be upset by many factors like ill health, financial troubles etc. to any of the family members” Prabhakar said.” That is why holy men advise people to surrender  to God.”

”May be, but I know  that scientifically, the existence of a superior power has not been proved so far,” Narain told him. “Hence, I cannot accept this propaganda stuff.”

Prabhakar smiled fully knowing the predicament his friend was facing.

 “Great mysteries of the relation between mind and matter are still to be explained by science”, Prabhakar explained. ” For example, scientists are still grappling to understand the power that caused  the  ‘Big Bang’ which occurred  millions of years ago creating the universe. However, they could prove that  some of the original hydrogen and helium produced by this phenomenon were got converted  into elements like carbon and oxygen. Human beings came into being out of these elements by the slow process of biological evolution on earth. Scientists could also prove that the universe consisted of minute particles of matter  around which other particles of matter whirl and any life consists of rapidly vibrating matter. Also the power that pervades the entire universe does influence the life force in each and every one of us.”

 Narain did not have any doubt on what his friend explained so far since he had read about these in some magazines.
 “You have accepted the ‘Big Bang Theory’ on the creation of the Universe and of the  evolution of  human beings on earth”, Prabhakar  pointed out. “You are also convinced that the energy released by the bang pervades the entire universe affecting every living being, because scientists have proved these theories mathematically or by experiments. But you are not able to accept the existence of God for want of scientific proof.”

“None of the scientific theories  I read support your contention on God”, Narain said. He  did not want to waste his time to hear the same sermons marketed by godmen. “I want solid proof before venturing into such a life. Can you help me to get that proof?”

Normally Prabhakar would not have put up with such outbursts  from any one against his suggestions. But stay in Guruvayur had changed his attitude and he was prepared to hear any argument against his opinion. He could appreciate the predicament of his friend in such a situation and he was prepared to patiently listen to the latter. Hence he decided to put his point of view in a very polite and unbiased way to convince his friend the benefits of prayer and meditation. 

Part – 4

Prabhakar  remained calm  and kept smiling awaiting further  outpourings from his friend. Luckily there was none and hence he continued with the subject.

“If you had even casually read any of the life stories of the scientists of the spiritual world, the real scientists who had known the ‘Overself’, you would not have insisted for a proof. Then you would have been able to appreciate the fact that they have experienced Him, seen Him as clearly as the scientists see microbes in their laboratories.

“Kerala’s history is replete with such instances of holy people getting the vision of God and experiencing His blessings. Devotees like Poonthanam, Vilwamangalam and Kurooramma  are reported to have got the vision of Guruvayurappan.It  has also been documented that many like Meppattur Bhattathiripad, the author of ‘Narayaneeyam’, could get rid of their ailments  by seeking refuge in Him. Of recent occurrence is  the case of the famous musician, Chembai Bhagavatar, who got his lost voice regained by seeking His blessings. Whenever devotees seek His help, He comes to their rescue manifesting His grace in infinite inscrutable ways.”

After a pause, Prabhakar continued.

“Our centres of pilgrimage are either temples or ‘tirthas’ ( water bodies). Temples at Badrinath, Kashi, Ujjain, etc. are reknowned because of their antiquity and history; tirthas at Haridwar,Prayag, Rameswaram, etc. derive their glory due to their locations; But Guruvayur as a centre of divinity is famous because of the idol which was  worshipped by Lord Krishna at Dwaraka,  installed by Brihaspathy  (Guru) and God of Wind (Vayu) and sanctified by Parasurama at the place blessed by the prolonged ‘tapas’ of both Lord Siva and Prachetas.”

“I have heard such speeches  in the discourses held by many Hindu religious leaders visiting USA and find nothing new about it..” Narain  said. “How you, a confirmed atheist all these years, could  accept such unproved  theories and accept willingly the life of a mendicant?”

“That air accident opened my eyes and I was convinced that the second  chance I got to live was due to the blessings from Guruvayurappan. Hence my decision to stay and pray here.”

“If that be so, why did you settle down in this town, almost primitive compared to Columbus, preferring  to escape the realities of life?”

“No, I am still a worldly man, a business adviser to various Indian firms and do attend their meetings and render help, ”Prabhakar said. “But my spare time is not meant  for social gatherings and partying . I spend such free time in the temple, praying and meditating .”

“But why such a change in attitude?”

“When despair knocks relentlessly on one’s life, he should know that it is time to surrender  to God. And that is exactly the cause and effect, “Prabhakar  said.

“But how are you able to meditate in this temple where every devotee is at his highest pitch chanting hymns?, ”Narain expressed his  doubts. “I could not even concentrate at the Lotus temple in Delhi where silence reigned even with thousands praying there.”

“Initially, I had some difficulty,” Prabhakar  agreed. “In those days of mental  turmoil, I happened to attend the discourse of one holy person in this temple  and I sought his  help to guide me.

“He told me that to reach the stage of meditation, I have to keep my mind in a single-pointed concentration through ‘Japa’, ie  chanting the name of the Lord. By constant and regular practice of ‘japa’, I would be able to concentrate and do meditation  to achieve my objectives.

“Remember, all these years, you were a slave of intellectual confusions, emotional surprises, and loving anxieties”, the noble soul pointed out.” The churning impact of these tumbling emotions engulfed you in a web of sorrow and suffering, thereby denying you the opportunity of making use of your faculty to gain an everlasting happiness. A mind full of desires unconsciously generates poisonous fumes of discord and  ends up in a self-created state of restlessness.. Such a state of mind is not conducive  for meditation. But it does not mean that for meditating you have to renounce the world  and sit in a cave so as to experience the Lord. By replacing the extraneous thoughts with prayers you can prepare the ground for contemplation, thus kindling god-mindedness within you.  In such a state of mind, the feeling of ecstasy is unparalleled. ”

 “”Go  step by step –from ‘japa ‘to concentration, then  to meditation and from there  to the Supreme state of God –consciousness”. That holy man blessed me before he left.

“ Since then, I had been following the steps recommended by that good soul .” Prabhakar said.”Remember that this temple is a vibrant centre of spiritual powers and for ages, pilgrims have walked through the temple precincts and got the blessings of the Lord. I am sure that you would also be able to concentrate and meditate here once you start praying to Him”.

“You told me that this temple is glorified as a centre of divinity. Is it documented?” Narain wanted to know.

“We do not know since when the temple came into existence as the history of the temple is shrouded in antiquity. There are no records to establish its original date of construction.” Prabhakar said. “According to legends, the idol installed at the temple is the same as the one worshipped by Lord Krishna at Dwaraka. When He departed from earth, and Dwaraka was drowned,  as per His instructions to His disciple, Udhava, Brihaspathy, the preceptor  of the Gods (Guru) accompanied by  the Wind God (Vayu) carried the idol in search of a sacred place for its installation and found the present site near Mammiyur as suitable. The  village name  Guruvayur  was derived thus,  as the place founded by Guru and Vayu.

“ Devotees point out  that the reference to Gurupavanapura Mahatmya in Narada Purana  is attributed to this place. The  reference to a place called Kuruvayur beyond  Mammiyur  mentioned  in the ‘Chakravaka Sandesa’, a Malayalam work of early 16^th century  may also be alluding to this place. As per the available documents, the central shrine is said to have been rebuilt in the year 1638. After the devastating fire in the year 1970, many structures in the temple complex had been reconstructed and the  architectural features you find now are due to the resulting modifications.”

It was nearing 4 P.M. “ Oh! I have to rush to Trichur for an advisory committee meeting. Sorry, I won’t be able to accompany you to the temple to-day”. Prabhakar said , hurrying to go.

By the time Narain reached the temple precincts in the evening there was a long serpentine que waiting for ‘darshan’. He joined the devotees moving at snail’s pace, and once he entered the temple complex, he made a mental note of the lay out of the area. The shrine , built within a vast compound protected by massive walls had two grand towers, to facilitate entry, one on the eastern side and another on  the western side. Inside the large courtyard, there was a paved path for circumambulation and to offer prayers to the  shrines dedicated to Ayyappa and  Bhagavathy.  The ‘Srikovil’ , ie; the sanctum sanctorum of Guruvayurappan  and a shrine for Ganesh  were located within another set of walls supporting a framework  to hold  oil lamps. The entry to this  inner  precincts (Chuttambalam) was regulated through doorways on the east and north sides.

Devotees were moving slowly, chanting the hymns of the Lord . Narain could see and hear the temple guards standing near the Srikovil  frequently requesting pilgrims to move on so as to give chance to others to have the ‘darshan’. When Narain reached  the ‘sopanam’, hoping to see the idol at close quarters, a priest coming out of the inner sanctum chanced to obstruct the view of the interior. Since the guards forced him to move on he  could not even see how the idol  appeared. He came out of the ‘chuttambalam’  disappointed.

Narain watched the flickering shadows thrown up by the lamps hung outside, leaping and writhing very much like his soul in torment. He then remembered his friend’s advice - To reach God pray sincerely in total surrender to the Lord.

Narain sat at a secluded corner and started praying , chanting ‘Narayana, Narayana...

Back in the hotel room, he ruminated over his experience of the last few days since leaving New York. He always had an exaggerated sense of self importance, priding  over his capacity to handle any difficult situation and to turn it to his advantage.  Only after meeting Dr.Ramdas in the flight and listening to the latter’s experience that he could recognise his own insignificance in the universe. Now he  had to concede that all his much trumpeted skills failed him to get even a mere ‘darshan’ of the Lord.

Narain then understood that true prayers could never rise up from a heart swollen with hollow vanity. He had to meekly surrender to Him while seeking Him.

 For the next few days, every day, both in the morning and in the evening, Narain  would stand in the que  to have the ‘darshan’ of Guruvayurappan. However, every time he reached the ‘sopanam’,  priests, carrying articles either going into or coming out of the inner sanctum happened to block his chance to see the idol. But he did not feel frustrated, nor he lost hope; he would go sit in a corner and pray.

That was to be his last day at Guruvayur. After having failed to get the coveted ‘darshan’ even once in the last few days, Narain decided that he would make one more attempt to see the idol at close quarters. However, by the time he could reach the ‘sopanam’, the doors of the ‘Srikovil’ were getting closed for the evening ‘arti’.

”Lord is refusing to give me even a chance to see the idol”, he thought.”May be that I am condemned to lead a life back in USA immersed in the regrets of the past, the trepidations of the future and the anxieties of the present -  that may be His decision.”

Luckily, none, not even the guards, asked him to move.

Narain watched the assembly of devotees present there, men, women and children, all chanting  ‘Om Namo Narayana, Guruvayurappa’ and pouring out their souls in ecstatic raptures. The place reverberated with their chants. The very atmosphere there was divine, charging him with a soothing influence that filled him with inner poise and serenity,  giving him a very strange feeling of new surge of strength and power flowing through him. A sense of well being and a spirit of equanimity were deliberating his actions, he felt.

As the doors of the ‘Srikovil’ opened, Narain saw before him the decorated idol of Guruvayurappan, revealing His Universal Form , the Glory of the  Cosmic Presence, to him. He felt an aura emanating , a tremendous power radiating from the idol, as if a thousand suns blazed all at once within the sanctum.  He found it hard to gaze at the glowing radiance from the inner sanctum  suffused with the Divine light of the Supreme.

 The mass of resplendent light , blinded his faculties of perception, feeling and understanding and he stood there in reverent adoration of that dazzling brilliance, absorbing within him the myriad manifestations of the Infinite Consciousness.  Narain felt that Guruvayurappan had laid siege of his rebellious mind and annexed it to Himself. He was entering into a world unknown to him, experiencing all the joy, forgetting  his own individual existence, while identifying  himself and becoming one with the Lord.

 He then understood that  Guruvayurappan is the very substratum from where every living being arises, exists in and merges into, the spark of life in every one and the very Eternal Truth

In those few minutes in front of the deity, he had learnt everything, understood everything and experienced the bliss  proclaimed by the saints.

As the realisation came to him, he bowed  before the Lord, thanking Him for blessing him.

Narain heard the guards requesting him to move as the ‘arti’ was over.

  Prabhakar was right  when he had told him a few days back that none would be able to describe  the happiness one experienced while  gazing at the effulgence of the Spiritual Truth  remaining  concealed  within that small idol of Guruvayurappan. At that time, he was not ready to accept that contention. But now  If anyone had  asked him to share that experience, he would not be able to define or even vaguely outline that phenomenon.

Back in his room, Narain had made up his mind. He would be like Prabhakar, winding up his activities in the USA and settling down in Guruvayur to  continue to cherish that experience.