the missing link

Sabarimala Pilgrimage-A Quest For Peace

Ramnath stopped the car to watch the dawn and to absorb the scenic beauty of the western ghats from where the river Pampa descended. 

From that vantage  point,  he could see the  river snaking its way along an endless succession of mountain ranges, racing down through the intervening forests and disappearing to oblivion to reach its destination, the Arabian sea.On the far river banks, he could see men in black, some preparing for bath, some ready for their climb and some running, rather than walking up the foot hills carrying the "Irumudi". all chanting the mantra, "Swamiye Saranam Ayyappa"

The sky to the east had become fairly red even by six in the morning, a feature unheard of during winter in the northern part of the country from where he came. It was mildly cold at this time of the month,  but it was pleasant.

The dawn heralded the beginning of another day, but was it going to be the same as in the past? Or was he going to experience something different as was presumed before the beginning of the pilgrimage? He still had his doubts.

Ramnath prepared himself for the journey through the forests leading to the hill temple, carrying Irumudi, containing the materials for offering to Ayyappa. The jungles sheltered wild  animals, he had been told already. He might come across herds of wild elephants and at times tigers, he was fore warned.But the pilgrimage would be rewarding , his friend had assured him.

The mist present in the early hours started rolling away revealing the serpentine track that lay ahead. Quickly the sky began to glow, became a fierce incandescent red glow and the sun came showing up behind the hills like a huge and brilliant orb. Ramnath felt tired and restless. He knew that he alone was responsible for taking the decision to take the trek to Sabarimala, leaving his cosy atmosphere back at home so as to get the so called mental peace through spiritual pathways.

He was never like that earlier. He was a successful businessman. His attitude to life was, since beginning, purely based on business concepts.  He considered every thing in life in terms of profit and loss only. Even family relationship existed as a commercial proposition, he used to assert.But the sudden death of his only son, the heir for his business empire, changed him, changed his attitude to life. He found a purposeless hollowness in life.

In the beginning,his uneasiness was like a mere intellectual quest. It soon started burning him up in a conflagration, roasting him up from within. Soon he became so ablaze with questions on the riddle of life that he concluded that the life he led so far was just an empty dream.As days progressed, he found it difficult to adjust with the ways of life around him. He started getting upset even on simple issues.

His friends felt that they should get him out of his swinging moods to bring him back to his normal behaviour. They felt it necessary to advice him to go for a picnic of sorts , visiting places of interest from Kashmir to Kanyakumari and from southwest to northeast regions, to watch the various festivals occurring every where, be it Diwali or Holy,dance programmes or temple 'Utsavas'. Such activities would help him to forget the tragedy and help him to recover from that shock.

Ramnath got convinced of their suggestions and chalked out a programme to drown his rising depression

He sought solace in the sequestered valleys and magnanimous mountain ranges of the Himalayas. He spent sleepless nights  gazing at the beauty of star studded skies and kept awake on the banks of the river Ganga at Varanasi Ghats listening to the melody of its ripples. He read books on "How to remain happy", on "God Realisation" and books dealing with the philosophy of life authored by eminent spiritual leaders. He tried his best to get into the gorgeous  avenues of eternal calmness, to escape from the commotions of daily life.

Still, he continued to be unhappy, irritable, upset and mentally uneasy.

Remorse  overwhelmed him as he analysed the situation. His attempts to understand peace had proved futile so far.The journey he now undertook to Sabarimala  may also end up the same way, he had his doubts.Anyway, it was going to be his last attempt in quest  of mental happiness. If it failed---?There was no answer to this nagging  query.

When he undertook the journey to Kochi,he had no idea as to where Sabarimala was and what he would find there. A chance encounter with his co-partner for years who settled down in Varanasi had shown him a way and his advice to him to seek refuge in Ayyappa  made him attempt that rigorous journey. "But  remember,the journey is not going to be  a pleasant affair. It is tough. Still it would be worthwhile", he had cautioned him.

Ramnath sat down under the shelter of a tree He did not put down his "Irumudi" as advised by his Guruswamy who had told him not to keep the sacred  bundle on the ground, but could be kept on his shoulder whenever he felt  the need for rest.He was not able to walk further as every part of his body ached. To add to his discomfiture, the day was getting hotter. 

He was not physically fit nor mentally prepared for such a journey, he felt. Doubts arose about the very wisdom of his action. The incessant strifes and struggles  of the past had dulled his mind and heart to such an extent that he had lost his reasoning capacity, he was certain. Otherwise how could he be so foolish as to jump into the fray of such a strenuous journey? He did not critically examine the suggestion, he knew.May be the anxious escapes and fears he had all along the initial period had blunted his analytical power  thereby pushing him to this misadventure, he concluded.

The suffocating restlessness of his questioning intellect would not have been calmed down by  a religious path, where no logical explanations were needed, where every happening would be attributed to a single individual- the Supreme Power. The books he read pointed out to only such a phenomenon and advocated only the need of self discipline and concentration to reach Him by transcending the frontiers of inner bliss and happiness. They detailed about the pleasures of divine thinking, about the effulgence of spiritual truth that remained concealed in man. But his query-.how to achieve that divine glory, remained unanswered.

Could this tiresome journey to Sabarimala provide some answer? He still had his doubts.

True, he was going on this pilgrimage half -heartedly, as a last chance. Would he be able to get what he wanted?

Ramnath was awakened from his musings by the voice of small children  chanting the praise of the Lord. He watched them more in astonishment than curiosity. Their capacity  for accepting sufferings and their unflinching faith in Ayyappa, surprised him. He followed them.

"The wheel of life is such that it crushes the very individual who clings on to its periphery, hanging on for security," he remembered to have read in some books on spirituality. "Instead if that man had merged with the axle, the life spark, he could have been safe watching unattached how life rolls on"

Was it very much true about him  also? All along he was clinging to that wheel of life like a leach trying to suck as much out of it as possible. In that process, he got bound by the tentacles of materialistic life  unable to come out and free himself.

Could this pilgrimage get him nearer to that life spark?

Ramnath continued his journey through the wild jungles of the western ghats. He had lost all hopes of achieving his objective. He was sure that he would return a disappointed man He trudged along following the pilgrims ahead of him.

An old pilgrim joined him and asked in chaste Hindi,  "Swamy,can I be of any help to you?

Ramnath stared at him. For the first time he met a person who could speak his language so fluently.

"I am Jagdish from North.",he introduced himself. "I have been a regular visitor to this temple for past many years. Every time the season starts, I get the inner urge to come here".

He had a stentorian voice commanding instant attention. And his eyes had a rare glow not generally seen in the people he had come across.

"The light  of the body is the eye", the scriptures had pronounced."And when the whole body is permeated with spiritual light, it is radiated outwards" 

True, Jagdish had some divine charm about him.

"Thank you Swamiji", Ramnath replied. "I am coming to these parts for the first time and the journey through these inhospitable jungles made me a bit dull" 

Jagdish was vociferous.He spoke about the pleasures that the pilgrimage gave, about the effulgence of spiritual truth that surfaced after the 'darshan' of the Lord Ayyappa and the ecstasies one got from the pilgrimage.

Listening to him, Ramnath felt as if a great burden has been taken away from him. Anyway, he was on his way to explore and possibly experience that so called glorious feeling of divine reality.

As he entered the precincts of Sabarimala, a wondrous  unearthly scene greeted him. The wind that rioted across the mountains  uprooting trees in its arrogant course, appeared hushed as it reached that sanctified atmosphere. The surrounding hills glowed with a warm, deep green tint while an absolute sense of peace radiated from that area.

A sea of humanity, shouting Swamiye Saranam Ayyappa surged through the sprawling grounds of Sabarimala.  Ramnath too joined them in sheer ecstasy on having a peep of the 'Srikovil' through the crowds pushing to reach the sanctum. He felt then that he he would be able to achieve his goal by merging with the nature that lay splashed in the invigorating environment  around him.

Slowly, he climbed the 'Eighteen Steps' which took him to the 'Srikoil'.

For a moment , he stood motionless, struck by the awe inspiring sight of the small idol of Ayyappa  made in 'Panchloha' covered with flowers and garlands.He forgot about himself, about his own existence feeling a magnificent peace descending on him and the Grace of the Lord transporting him to a state of rapture to satisfy his quest.To him it was one of the sudden halts in life when time and world seemed to stand still. He recognised the pervading spirit of His existence  penetrating through the inner recesses of his being, flooding him with happiness.

The mystery of 'divinity' in quest of which he had been roaming around all these years, stood unravelled before him.He felt the mists of his mind getting cleared at that very moment, raising his spirit to sublime happiness.

Tears rolled down his cheeks. Those were the tears of joy, of well-being and of understanding the Divine reality.