The Consultant

Habits never die

During service, I never knew that retired professionals would be very much sought after to advise various government organisations. I was under the impression that once retired, the person is a spent force and there would not be any one seeking the help from such an individual who had led an easy life with a guaranteed job ,assured promotion prospects and a tidy sum as a monthly pension.
I was thoroughly mistaken.
A day after bidding farewell to colleagues, seniors and subordinates from the department where I worked, I was pleasantly surprised to receive a letter from the government to join as a consultant to advise the newly set-up Task Force on the various aspects on the subject ‘water’.
When I reached the new office, I was happy to find that there were 3 more consultants to keep me company, Mr.Yadav, Mr.Karmarker and Mr. Kapur, all retired professionals from different government organisations, having years of experience in the subject. A 10 A.M.to 5 P.M. job, we were to study the specified projects spread all over the country to come out with recommendations to optimise the productivity of water. The job involved analysis and evaluation of data spread over hundreds of files and reports. A secretariat was entrusted with the job of providing us the requisite logistical support, arranging meetings of the Task Force, etc. We were to chalk out our own work schedules to meet the targets set by the Chairman, a former Union Minister .
The earlier experience of working in government departments came handy to us in organising our work. We unanimously decided that during the working hours, our tea-break would be for only 15 minutes from 11 A.M., lunch for 30 minutes from 1 P.M., and evening tea for 15 minutes from 3 P.M. It was also decided that during these breaks, as far as possible, we should sit at one place to discuss common issues.
It was during one such tea breaks, Mr. Rao, one of the serving officer in an apex organisation dropped in, to get certain aspects on water allocation among the states, clarified.
“The usual tea-break?”, Rao jocularly quizzed. “If I were in your position, I would have had my tea alone, away from the probing eyes of the public. I would not prefer consultants to be branded as idlers gossiping away their time, taking breaks”
“Why, what is wrong in just having a cup of tea together?’ , we asked in unison, surprised at the way Rao put it.
“I would like to narrate a story which appeared in a week-end magazine recently on the subject”, Rao said in defence.
“A lawyer, who claimed that he had done some good things in life, on death, presented himself before the Heavenly gate, demanding entry.
“Sorry, your records show that you are to go to Hell”, the gate keeper said after scanning the reports.
“I have done good things also in life”, the lawyer said. “Have you forgotten to enter them?”
“Those deeds are also there in the records”, the gate keeper replied.” Hence you get a choice, an option to select the type of hell you would prefer to go, the American, German or Indian type.”
Finding that arguments had no place there, the lawyer asked. “Can I at least have a look at each of the place, before I finally select the one of my choice?”
“Certainly”. A guide was arranged immediately to show the places to the lawyer.
“While on earth, the layer’s ambition, like many Indians, was to go to USA”, Rao continued with his story finding that we were absorbing every word of his with keen interest. “Since he was coming from India, he first preferred to see the American hell.”
“How do they treat the people here?”, the lawyer asked the Guide.
“They firstly put the guy on that electric chair and once the body is well-burnt, they put him on that bed located near by, where you find many brass spikes glistening”, the Guide pointed out. “When the burnt body sinks deep into the spikes, a designated officer, comes with a lash to whip. However, the officer has to follow the rule that the whipping is restricted only to the leg area.”
The advocate did not want to hear the torture story further. He requested his companion to show him the German hell.
The guide showed him the interior of the German hell, the location of the electric chair, the spiked bed and the lash kept near by, all looking similar to what he saw earlier.
“The only difference here is that the designated officer is always drunk, and he does not follow any rule while whipping.”
‘The advocate was stunned and desired to see the Indian hell as well.
‘There was a long Q at the entrance to the Indian hell. Here also a Q, the advocate could not believe. He asked one in the Q the reason for it.
“Even though here also the standard electric chair, the bed , the lash, etc. are there, Indian conditions prevail and hence the long Q”, the waiting man replied.
“ But, why the rush here?’, the advocate could not contain his curiosity.
“The reason is that the electric chair does not work since there is no electricity. One has only to sit on the chair for the designated period.”
“But what about the bed? How to suffer lying on those spikes?”
“Nothing to worry. The spikes have been stolen by some one. Now a Committee is looking into that. After the Committee submits the Report, that would be examined in due course and there after, a Purchase Committee would be constituted to purchase the material as per prescribed procedures, by inviting tenders etc. Till then, no problem with the bed”. The person consoled him.
“But then, how to survive the fellow coming with a lash?”
“ No difficulty at all’, the person said.”The chap was formerly a consultant with the government and has been assigned this duty here. But his earlier habit continues; he comes, signs the attendance register kept in that corner and goes to the canteen to sip tea, till he is called to attend to the next case and sign the register. No suffering here and hence the long Q”
Rao concluded his story.
“Now you can have a rethink on your work schedules and habits, if you prefer", he said, while bidding us good-bye.
(Sanku Purana)